You Can't Work the Room if You Sit in the Corner: Notes from a Reluctant Networker

I'm not new to the professional world -- after about 7 years and 3 jobs, I've had many chances to become a skilled networker.  From organizing two web conferences, to attending what feels like 9,000 cocktail events "in the industry," to sitting through panels upon panels on " the future of X," it seems I am practicing networking all the time.  It's exhausting.

Over time, I've learned more what to do in these situations and how to feel less awkward, but the fact is that networking is STILL a challenge for me, and I imagine for many others.  Even for the really outgoing people who seem to know everyone in the room already.

The thing is, I got my first real job by networking with everyone I possibly could and I never forgot it.  I was just out of college and didn't know anything about business or how companies worked.  All I really knew was that I had to push myself to reach out to everyone I knew--thank you, Lucy Childs Baker--because you just.never.know.

Disclaimer: I'm the kind of person who gets in my pajamas the second I walk in the door at home.  I'm not a social butterfly who thrives on professional relationships.  And usually, my gut reaction to an invitation to something work-related is "I already have plans."  All that aside, I find that attending events every so often is actually engaging, and doesn't need to be a chore.  For small businesses, networking can actually be awesome: we know ourselves, we know our brand, we have a goal.  The more times we have to give our elevator pitch, the sooner we'll just believe the pitch itself and not feel like we're selling.

Plus, that dude at the bar you swapped cards with could email you tomorrow about a new project. Cha-ching.

Notes from the Field, Part 1:

The most recent event I attended was a Career Camp featuring local entrepreneurs showcasing their business stories.  All of the speakers were socially-minded in some way, whether focused on community-building or sustainable design or organizing conferences.  "Tips on social business" is a broad topic, but everyone there, whether speaker or attendee, was humble, thoughtful and NOT boring.  That, combined with the relaxed venue made for a cool atmosphere; but my very first impression upon arriving was, "Eek, the place is empty.  Where is everyone? Is it worth my whole evening to stick around if the crowd is this thin?"

It turns out it was worth my whole evening, for a few simple reasons:

1.  MET ONE NEW AWESOME PERSON

One doesn't seem like a lot, but it is.  I met Sheepless advisor/supporter Randy Hunt at the event.  He was the only new person there that I truly connected with.  To me, that is successful -- one connection is valuable, but it's got to be genuine not fleeting (my personal rule of thumb is "could you call him/her up tomorrow and not feel weird?").

There have been too many times when I expected to meet ten or more new people at one networking event, and then suffered the disappointment of feeling that I failed or wasted my time, when it never materialized.

At first, it was hard to psych myself up to be "on" just to make one new friend, but the lesson I've learned is that less is more -- connecting with others in a more honest and real way is what counts, even if it takes hours and it's only one person at a time. 

2. CHANGED IT UP

Attending Career Camp allowed me to think differently for a night.  Just being around people who are passionate about something that's still new-ish to you is pretty awesome, as simplistic as that sounds. Sometimes it takes just showing up (and sticking around) in order to be inspired and to provoke thought.

Unlike most of the people who were there, I don't yet spend the majority of my time thinking about social entrepreneurship, or what I can do through business to contribute to a greater good.  But I'd really like to, which is half the reason I went; spending an evening talking about something new and different simply felt good.

3.  THE BONUS CONNECTION

Two of the speakers happened to walk into my apartment building right when I was going home.  We shared an elevator ride and laughed about what a small world it was.  So it turns out the designers from Brooklyn's Workshop are my neighbors. Bonus!

Check back for on-going notes from the field of networking at sheepless.org.